Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
