So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize