There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
