I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
you never un-have a 4some
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
