Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
