Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It's never too late to be topless.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
