Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
