i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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