You smell like a Billy Joel song
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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