nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
