i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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