Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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