I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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