bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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