You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
