Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
