she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
