does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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