My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
