no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
