That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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