On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
