I want to make a zoo with you.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
