thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
