I think im going to throw up on grandma
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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