All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize