Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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