Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
