he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
