ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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