Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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