i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
