Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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