i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize