Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
