I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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