My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
