why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize