i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
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