i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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