I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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