how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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