Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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