ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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