do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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