I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
