Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
