Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
