So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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