she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
