I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
