i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
