I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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