I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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