Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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