i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
