The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
