I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
