I never want to see another naked old woman again.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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