I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize