I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
