Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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