shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
