Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
