actually, I'm a sock model
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
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